When I think of my dad..
I see a STRONG, Intelligent, Loving and supportive Samoan Man standing before me.. This is what you have taught me over the years we have had together..
From a very young age dad has always taught us to be kind to one another. We had the normal sibling rivalry so for us, this was a difficult thing to understand.
“Don’t fight with your brothers and sisters, you need to look after them. I never treated my brothers and sisters like this.”
I remember watching my older sister Leilani, she tripped and fell over. I thought it was the funniest thing. Funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my young life. Until I heard dads voice.. “Anetta come here”… “Yes dad”.. Yeah of course i stopped laughing.
He looks at me and says
“How do you know if she was hurt? How do you know if something serious didn’t happen to her. Well you don’t know because the first thing you did was laugh. Next time something happens, always check if they’re ok first then laugh about it later because you never know.” .. “Yes Dad“.
It wasn’t until recently I didn’t understand how poor our family was. Whilst dad was living in Samoa, he realized he wasn’t going to achieve everything he dreamed for his family. He wasn’t going to be able to provide a future for his brothers and sisters that he wanted. He told my grandfather he wanted to move away. My grandfather agreed.
Mum didn’t speak a word of English and agreed to go everywhere with Dad. They came to Australia in 1994 with no money and 3 kids. I remember growing up and attending a church called The Salvation Army. Church with other kids was fun, we went to camps and dad used to dress up as Santa Claus and hand presents out.
One of my most memorable moment was, we members of the church, walking the streets carrying donation chests in our hands, ringing the bell and knocking on doors. Asking if people could kindly donate a gold coin or 2. Looking back at dad with a proud smile on his face.
I had no idea that we were actually one of the families that were being supported by them.
I remember making fun of my mum. She had broken English. We kids could not speak Samoan fluently. When we came to Australia, Dad encouraged us to speak English, only because this was the country we were growing up in. He didn’t care if we couldn’t speak our native tongue and never made it a priority. He always said that’s where you come from so you can learn it whenever you want to.
So, he was watching us mocking my mum about her pronunciation of english words. We thought we were cool until.. “You kids come here let me tell you something”.. “Yes dad“..
“Your mother came to this country without speaking a word of English. You didn’t have to learn how to speak Samoan but your mum is learning to speak English just for you. Why are you making fun of her. You should be helping her and teaching her. If it wasn’t for her doing this… You’d be the one learning a different language”
Yep, we never laughed at her again.
We passed our old house in Mt Druitt just yesterday. I asked my dad what was the story behind the house? This is what he said…
“We applied for housing in 1994 and it was 1998. We were on the waiting list for 4 years and when i called them to check when it was our turn they said we were 80th in line. So what i did was, I put on my Salvation Army uniform and went to the housing commission and they gave me a house that very day. The first house they gave us, my wife complained and didn’t like it. The next house they gave to us was filthy and the previous occupants did not look after it. All the neighbors came up to us and told us how bad it was. Your mum and I didn’t stop cleaning the house because she was worried you kids would get sick. At night I would cry because i had nothing in my pocket and it wasn’t our home. That’s when i told myself we will get a house one day.”
7 years later. They did it. They gave us a home. Our home.
Just a couple weeks ago, i was shopping with dad. We met in the car and he says,
“The girl gave me too much money. When i bought my coffee she gave me $1 extra. I tried to get her attention she was kinda busy. When i finally got it she was looking at me confused. You gave me too much money. You gave me an extra dollar. She’s like nah i didn’t its right. I’m like no it’s not right, check again. After she calculated she realized she made a mistake…
Giving me an extra $1 isn’t going to make me rich so what’s the point. She thought about that and smiled and said thank you, you are an honest man”.
Dear Dad,
I am so thankful for you. I can not count how many lessons you have taught me over the years however, I will go through each and every one of them one day. I am so lucky to have been one of your children and even more fortunate to call you my father.
I have watched you suffer after losing one of your sons. However you got through it and still managed to have created such a loving place in our household where we can always come to you for support. You have held our family together after many years where we could have easily gone the other way.
Even when you were in so much pain when you were sick. You had a tear in your aorta. The doctor came up to you and asked “From a scale of 1-10, 1 being the least amount of pain and and 10 the most how much pain are you in right now”. You would be sitting there smiling in hospital and say “8”. I don’t know how you do it. You are so strong and brave.
I know you feel like you haven’t done enough for us dad but believe me dad when i say this, you absolutely have done more than enough!
Happy 71st Birthday to the best dad .. ever! We are all where we are, and who we are because of you.
Forever loving you, Thank you.
Memoirs of Anetta 