Short on money but long in time..

Mum and Dad just purchased their new home.

Dad looks at me and says, “Anetta, i need you to get a job to help out the family”. The only place I applied for was KFC Minchinbury, at 14 yrs old. This is where it all started for me.

It was my first job.

The money i made at first, was going straight into my parents bank account. Until i asked my dad for a separate account one.

I ended up having 2 bank cards. One was mine and the other one belonged to my parents. Both were held by my dad.

I never had the urge to spend money. Shopping wasn’t really my thing. Mum and dad provided all my necessities so, the money i was making was going to contribute to the family for emergencies.

After working under a year or so i went to withdraw money from my account. I put in my card to withdraw $20. Screen looks back at me and says,

Insufficient funds

I was so confused. I call up dad and ask what happened? Dad says, “A funeral came up, we had to use it. Sorry.”“

At first i thought to myself… WHAT THE F*&@$*@& hahaha…

But, this anger quickly went away after speaking to mum and dad.

They told me the situation and if it meant lifting a financial burden off my family, what was there to be mad about. I wasn’t purchasing anything that i needed. Mum and dad gave me everything and this was just something extra.

“Don’t worry dad and mum, i understand“

I had to constantly remind myself, “Why did you get a job in the first place?”. I barely used any money i made, as i quickly came to realise. The money i earnt from this job, never belonged to me…

It belongs to my family.

So, yeah this didn’t happen just once.. but it was something that i understood.

I’d be lying if i said it wasn’t hard. It was very hard… but it would’ve been harder to watch my family suffer and i am thankful i was able to contribute and do my part.

I had Aaliyah at 19yrs old. If i stayed out of work, it meant one less income for a Samoan family of 7. My brother and sisters were still in high school. I knew i had to work.

I returned to work 3 months after giving birth to Aaliyah. I was also working up to 35 hours p/w 3 days before i gave birth.

My dad is an entrepreneur. Always pushing to make his own money. To be his own boss.

Whilst climbing the cooperate KFC Ladder and taking all the opportunities that came with it. I was also working in between to help my father and his shipping business. I was trying my best to do right by my daughter, financially.

Honestly, the toughest role i ever had in my life is to be a Mother. Sorry HAVE.

I can tell you right now, i wasn’t a very present mother to Aaliyah during the times i worked late nights, early mornings and never ending weeks. In between my marriage breaking down.

I admit it.

If it wasn’t for my loving brother, my beautiful sisters, my parents and Aaliyah’s family from her Pakistani side. If it wasn’t for their presence in Aaliyah’s life, being there for her whilst i wasn’t…Aaliyah would not be the beautiful girl she is today.

I feel forever in debt for the love they have given her where i was missing.

It broke my heart.

The many times they were able to hang out and i’d miss out because of work. There were many times were i had the opportunity to spend time with them but work, making money was my priority and not time with my family.

My salary looked good… but the relationships that mattered definitely weren’t.

I remember talking to my younger sister Lydia (Aaliyah’s aspiration in life haha) she says to me…

“Anetta do you talk to Aaliyah? Does she tell you her secrets? You should talk to her.”

My response, “No why? what does she tell you? How come she doesn’t say anything to me. What did she say?”

I didn’t know my own daughter.

I worked hard and stayed at KFC for 13 years.

I resigned from my role at KFC Mean Fiddler early this year in February. **Special mention the Fisher Franchise Group.. Best team ever, past and present**

This was the best decision i have ever made for myself.

I had no idea what i was going to do, but all i knew was.. i wasn’t happy.

I moved back in with my parents and started reading this book my older sister Leilani recommended. It’s called “The Secret” By Rhonda Bryne.

After reading it, I began making little changes in my life.

I thought, the cheapest gift i could give to myself, is the gift of good health.

So, I got to spend time with my younger sister Christian. We would wake up in the early mornings and train together. 5am, 6am or 7am depending on her working schedule. Thank you baby sister for the motivation.

I also learnt how cook. I got to look after my father, who was recovering from his heart surgery. I got to take care of my mum, my brother and sisters who’d work ridiculous hours.

More importantly, I also got to spend time with Aaliyah. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with her. Something i have never had before. I’ve waited over 7 years to spend time with my daughter.

No, she’s waited over 7 years for time with mum.

I wrote this letter to myself and sent it to myself via email a little time after i had just resigned. I didn’t know what i was going to do with my life but i knew this was an important moment…for me.

“Remember Today. I love you”

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I can tell you right now, i am out of debt and i am living the happiest and most fulfilling life. As a mother, as a sister, as a daughter and as a partner.

When you’re down, the only way is up. Don’t ever give up on yourself!