Round 1
He’s holding me down. I can’t move. “Get the f*@$ off me!” He screams back “You’re not going anywhere!” Slams me down back on the bed. Locks the door. Takes my phone. “You’re not leaving here to make a scene in front of my family.”
“Arrghhhh! Fine i’m sorry. I won’t… I won’t make another sound. I love you….“
He’s calm now. He’s still standing in front of the door. He grabs me and pulls me into bed. I lay in his arms and he says “I love you” holding me tightly.
“I love you too…”
Round 12
We are in the car. It’s just us. He’s driving and yelling…
“Why are you always on your phone!? Why do you always talk to other guys? Show me your phone!!” I stand my ground. “No! I don’t want to show you anything. You don’t show me your phone, why would i let you go through mine!?”
The car stops. He grabs the phone out of my hands. He’s losing it.
“What the f*&% is your pin!” I yell back “I ain’t telling you shit!” Grabs my phone, throws it out the window. He runs it over.
“What the f&$%! Take me home! I want to go home!!!” I’m crying.. begging “Please… i just want to go home“. He’s in a rage. He’s accelerating.
“Please calm down, i’m sorry. I’ll give you the pin, i’ll show you everything just please… take me home. Lets go home. I love you“…
He’s driving us home. “I love you too“.
Round 30
He’s calling. I pick up. “Hello…”
He starts to speak, “I don’t want to be with you anymore, this is the last time i’ll be calling you. Before you go…i promise you that NOBODY will ever love you as much as me! Believe me when i tell you this. NOBODY will ever love you as much as me!” *Hangs up*
I call back. He’s not answering. I call again. Straight to voicemail. He’s blocked me. Change my number to private. Please pick up.
What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he want to be with me? What’s wrong with me? Please answer my phone call. I love you! I’m sorry for whatever i did wrong. I can fix it. Please talk to me…
“Hello…”. Finally…He tells me, “I love you too...”
Round 62
We are at the police station. Again. I give in my statement.
My court case is scheduled. I get dressed. Dad “Anetta where you going?” I tell him, “no where dad just don’t worry”. My phones ringing. It’s my case officer. She told me not to speak to him – but I am speaking to him. He’s telling me not to go.
I don’t want to go anymore. The constable is calling me. I listen to her voicemail “Anetta, i’m in court waiting for you. Are you coming?”
Court case dismissed.
I message him. “I didn’t do it. I love you“. He texts back…
“You shouldn’t have taken it this far, do you really love me?”
Round 121
Do you swear by Almighty God/Do you solemnly and sincerely declare and affirm that the evidence that you shall give will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? If so, please say “I do”
“I do“
Magistrates (judge) makes his decision…
“There is something honest about Anetta’s testimony. Her character, her statement is believable. You say that Anetta is depressed but everyone’s depressed. You are a businessman and i can tell the way you speak, you are coordinated and well educated. I understand you run a small company and you employ somewhat many people but…
my final decision is you will leave court today convicted…”
_____
It has taken me a very long time to end this fight. 10 years. This message is to my fellow humans who are constantly fighting every day…….every day….. You are not alone.
There is more work to be done.. a lot more and i’ll tell you why…
I had my AVO approved. I did the hardwork of turning up to court and standing up for myself. One of the conditions of this AVO was that no one could use any type of communication to intimidate me. Well, i got emails and messages shortly after court doing exactly that.
Without the help and support of my beautiful older sister Leilani, i wouldn’t have been able to build enough strength to go down to my local police station and show them the evidence i had of this breach.
It took a whole lot of energy for me to do this. But i did.
A few days later, I receive a phone call from a women’s support group telling me that they weren’t able to do anything about the recent statement i made. The breach was never enforced.
Confused at this news i went down to the police station to speak to the police ..the same police officer.
I asked the constable who was a female officer, “Hi, do you remember me? I don’t understand. I got this phone call from someone saying he didn’t breach anything? You told me that i could write this statement and you would do something about it. Why is he still intimidating me?”
She looks at me and says, “Ohhh… so he hasn’t been served his AVO yet. So if we drive to his house, he doesn’t answer the door we can’t do anything more than that. We don’t have enough time to do these things.”
My heart sank…
I called my older sister Leilani and i cried. I broke down outside the police station in my car.
I chose to finally fight….
Fight for myself. To be let down by a police officer but because she was a female… it hurt more.
With this being said, if it wasn’t for the Police Barrister (male) who represented me during my case. I would confidently say i have little faith in our police officers.
I am definitely not the only one.
I have thought about writing this for a long time now. I hope i have conveyed this message well enough for you to understand Domestic Violence Victims a little more.
This is not to start a war. Not to hate on anyone. That’s not why i write. I am writing this to highlight there is still a lot more work to be done within our communities.
Support each other no matter how many mistakes we make. We are all only human… but if you’re in a position where your job requires our faith as a fellow Australian then you try your best to do justice and right by each individual no matter how many times you have to do it.
We ALL Matter
Memoirs of Anetta 